The heart, Osborn!
Spider-Man 2002 is the greatest superhero movie of all time, and it's 100% because I love Willem Dafoe in his dual roles as Norman Osborn and the Green Goblin. The rubber suit acting is wonderful, he moves like a Power Ranger! Every line he delivers is gold, whether it's the infamous Scientist line, having a hell of a time with MJ, or just simply... shleeeeeeeep....
And if the mirror scenes with vulnerable, desperate Norman sobbing and begging , knelt submissively under the cackling Goblin? That don't convince ya? Nothing will. Total psycho! Total wife material! Two waifus in one!
Goblin Playlist
I had a dream I made a playlist for the Green Goblin composed entirely of Lana Del Rey songs that mention New York, money, or old men. So I made the playlist. Please listen to it while reading about Norman Fucking Osborn.
Headcanons
- Outfit: Purple spandex halloween costume instead of armor.
- Age: 50-69+ years. Aged up for my pleasure.
- Height: 5'5" (5 foot 5 inches). Short and cute, wears slightly heeled dress shoes.
- Brain: What doesn't he show symptoms of?? Schizophrenia, bipolar, paranoia, psychosis, DID, all of which he passed down to Harry. The seizure he suffered from the goblin gas worsened his psychosis and caused an alter to surface. His alter takes over to protect Norman under stress and physical pain.
- Physical Gets seizures. Walks with a cane. A war veteran? Splatoom? Def has Goblin Cancer from huffing that Goblin Gas.
Fucked Headcanons:
- The goblin gas gave him erectile dysfunction. Watch out Harry. Don’t get hooked on that goblin gas.
- There is no goblin suit. It’s all green body paint. He’s balls out when he’s flyin’ on his glider, wearing high heeled boots cuz Norman is insecure about his height and the Goblin is boutta fix that.
- He's got a lil purple tunic from Spirit Halloween. During a manic episode, he tried on every outfit in Spirit Halloween. He bought the whole building afterwards to ensure a steady supply of purple spandex tunics. That’s what goblin gas and mental illness does to ya, I’ve been there a couple times, balls out goblinized!
- if he survived the 2002 movie, the goblin glider shredded his genitals! Peter brings him to the hospital, and being something of a scientist himself Norman suggests that they invert what is left of his huge meat into a Gobligna. God Bless America.
- If he didn’t perish at the end of Spider-Man 2002, the goblin gas would have gotten him soon after, with a lung disease that no doctor would be able to diagnose or treat.
My favorite Dafoe movie
Many kids in my generation were introduced to Dafoe from his role as Norman Osborn/The Green Goblin in "Spider-man"( 2002).
His character in Spider-Man 2002 exemplifies everything he does best: thespian monologues, theatrical physical movement, and whimpering emotional pain. I fell in love as soon as I saw The Goblinization Scene in theaters as a yung lad.
Norman Osborn is an ultra-capitalist CEO of a defense contracting company who ignores his son and is driven mad by his recent business failures. Already evil enough in human terms, he also has an alter ego in The Green Goblin that berates Norman's weakness and enacts all his darkest personal desires: a lust for vengeance, lust for power, and lust for Spider-Man's friendship and death.
His most famous scene in this movie is probably The Mirror Scene. Heck, it's gotta be well known if I saw it in one of my film classes. He plays two completely different characters at once, Norman and The Goblin, in the same long take. It's Jekyll and Hyde, it's Domme and Submissive, and it's incredibly fascinating to see his movements and language transform back and forth, especially if you're an animator or into selfcest. 😏 The Norman/Goblin dynamic is further expanded on when they Attack The Heart - Norman can't bear to hurt Peter, but the Goblin demands vengeance for Peter spurning their love.
Speaking of love...
Every scene he shares with Spider-Man is intentionally filmed as seduction, as the Goblin continuously attempts to lure the webcrawler into a failed, forced friendship. You may have seen the memes of the Goblin's huge green ass flying through the air.
They continue to flip positions, proving themselves versatile adverseries in love and war.
Their rooftop scene is commonly called The Proposal, and is full of innuendo. The Goblin roofies the Spider, manhandles his body, and demands his hand in infernal partnership. Not to mention in the kidnapping scene preceding the proposal, Spider-Man himself calls Gobby the "Mom" to his "Dad".
Finally, it ain't spoilers, cuz it ain't a Dafoe villain unless he dies horribly: Gobby meets his grisly demise at his own hands, impaled in the penis by his bladed Goblin Glider. A fitting death for the campy, slinking seductress. Norman gets one last word after his dragsona's death, pleading with Peter, "Don't tell Harry"... He loves his horrible son after all! And Peter dutifully obeys his dead girlfriend, stripping Norman of his Goblin drag outfit and laying him gently, naked and dead, in his mansion for his son to discover. This sets up the plot for the next two movies in which Harry not being told drives Harry to hatred and murder.
Spider-Man 2 and 3 are classic movies with much less Dafoe but still have classic scenes in which Dafoe's character torments Harry, as well as the most important piece of Dafoe art ever: The giant portrait of Willem Dafoe that has captivated hearts since 2007.
Portrait of a Lad
A mini essay about the giant painting of Willem Dafoe in Spider-Man 2002
846 words
After re-re-rewatching the Raimi trilogy, we noticed that the infamous Dafoe oil painting is only in Spider-Man 3. In Spider-Man 1 & 2, that corner in the Osborn house seems to be occupied by a painting of a woman
The implications of this are fascinating to me! The woman could be Harry’s mom and Norman’s ex-wife... it’s very unlikely they’d just have a portrait of any other random woman sitting in their ugly floral chair. And a redditor points out that Harry wants MJ to wear a black dress to impress Norman -- Harry has EXTREME parental issues! Make my girlfriend look hot for my dad by making her look like my mom.. who I’m dating?! Does he love MJ or his dad?! Well we know the answer to that when we get to the Thanksgiving scene, when Norman calls MJ a golddigger and Harry takes his dad's side after MJ complains.
While looking for images of the paintings, I found a video discussing the painting from an artistic/historical point of view: "Critiquing Norman Osborn Portrait Painting"
Professor Jordan in the video shares my headcanon that Harry had this commissioned between the events of Spider-Man 2 and 3. A large oil painting commission of this size could easily be tens of thousands of dollars, reserved usually for powerful men like presidents, and Harry has the money and adoration for his dad to make it happen.
The professors point out that the painting is very stoic and distant -- much like how Harry would have perceived his father. The expression emanates smugness, andpower. And Harry, having never experienced warmth and love from his father, would not have thought asked the artist to depict his father as anything other than the idealized CEO power figure. Imagine being the world’s richest furry... and commissioning your dad’s fursona looking really cool and mean.
(option 2: There’s also the possibility that the Osborns already had this painting, and Harry dragged it out of storage after going full goblin mode at the end of Spider-Man 2. But I don’t think that the Osborns would be the type to commission an expensive painting and hide it for 2 movies.)
(option 3: We totally forgot about this scene where Harry is painting a beautiful fruit scene. Did Harry Osborn himself paint the giant painting of Willem Dafoe as Norman Osborn in a fit of inspiration and madness? That Goblin Gas really gets ya brain going!
What are the psychological implications of Harry replacing a large portrait of his mother with a even larger portrait of his father??!
- We don’t know what happened to Harry’s mom in the movie series, but we know that his father died. And even after learning everything, despite all the horrible things Norman’s done to his own son and mankind, Harry loves him unconditionally.
- Harry doesn’t talk about his mother nearly as much as his father. The only information we have about her is that Norman calls her a golddigger (comparing her to Mary Jane). We do not know how Harry views his mother.
- In Harry’s descent into goblinization, his obsession with his father and hallucinations grow stronger. His entire life is now ruled by avenging his father. He has no friends, no family. He couldn’t even make his dad happy when Norman was alive. Now Harry can only hope to please his father with this one purpose after Norman’s death.
- Did the chair once belong to his mother? Is that yet another way Harry has melded the classic mother figure with his almost-deadbeat dad? He wishes for what society deems a mother’s warm love through his cold and distant father.
- The portrait is very conspicuously placed behind the chair in the portrait. His father sits in the ugly floral chair in the painting. Perhaps it helps Harry’s hallucinations and wishes to have his father alive again? To imagine him sitting in that very chair, occupying the same space as Harry once more? As such, the painting fufills the dictionary definition of a fetish: “ an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit. “
- The chair also symbolizes Harry walking in his father’s footsteps in goblinization. If he ever sits in the chair, he’s in the exact same position as his father. It’s a perfect mirror, much like Norman’s mirror scene in the first movie. Harry now occupies the power of the CEO of Oscorp. He now wants to kill Peter Parker. Harry is becoming his father, and he damn well wants that! He worships his father! There’s nothing more he’d like to than to have been half the man his father was, with all intellect and cunning and power.
That’s quite a lot of words to analyze my favorite piece of superhero art EVER!!!!! I love this painting of Willem as Norman, and I wish there was a high resolution image of it so I could have this hanging in my living room too. I’d worship it just the same as Harry! Maybe with less goblinization though.
